In order to do a new thing you have to become new. That means you have to do your work.
I Am a stay at home mom and wife. I am also an entrepreneur because I value my freedom and flow.
I was made free. I know what freedom tastes like and because of that, I can’t go back to being bound, in ANY capacity.
Even as I am writing this, distractions are trying to hinder my progress.
It is truly an art to be able to find your focus in the midst of madness.
In 2010, I became a wife and within a few days I found out I was pregnant. I was working at McDonald’s after I had retired from my previous profession as a dancer. I averaged $60,000 a year, I owned my time, and I had a lot of fun. Needless to say, I was not very enthused about working at McDonald’s while pregnant and living in my mother’s house. I got to work on making some changes…
Prior to this, I spent 3 years, on and off, in an unhealthy relationship. After realizing that my dream of being a wife and mother wasn’t happening fast enough, I began to consider what ELSE would I do with my time and my life. I couldn’t sit around looking at this guy all day. So I began to expand my mind. I read books and gained new levels of insight.
Turns out my focus was in making the Spiritual Practical. This begins with utilizing the mind as a tool. I put my mind to work.
I worked hard to help my husband secure a job and establish a place for us to call home.
By the time we got an apartment he was officially employed. We worked and splurged and had a grand ole time as newly weds and expecting parents. Things continued to shift as I focused fully on being a mother. I was no longer an employee.
Now, in hindsight I realize I could have done so much more to prepare for this transition to prevent what happened next, but I didn’t have the necessary knowledge to make those wise choices.
As time progressed I became depressed. I didn’t like how my body had changed. I felt tied down with my child. I didn’t have any friends and also didn’t know where to go to make friends. Date nights didn’t exist and I know longer felt like I had the world in my hand.
Even though I was near my family, I felt very alone, invisible even.
I was carrying baggage from the previous relationship that I hadn’t healed, which was also tied to childhood wounds.
On top of all that, I was in battle and know one knew about it.
I spent nearly every day for about a year debating if I should kill myself or not.
I considered killing myself and my child because I didn’t want to leave him in the world without me.
I also considered the impact on my husband, my family… What would they think… how would they feel? Would they even understand?
I want to tell you the secret to overcome that.
You must open your mouth and speak against it.
I would speak against it as I held my son and I talked to him. I reminded myself that he needed me, that I am valuable in his life.
Then I remembered that I thought of having my own business and that spark of hope was ignited in me again.
In 2012, I was certified as a Professional Coach.
I didn’t feel worthy or good enough to have my own business. I didn’t feel supported or credentialed enough. I have remained somewhat in a state of isolation and have been working on my mental… getting clarity in the spiritual, while also getting training in the physical.
Now, I am able to take on a little more as I balance being a mother of 3 children under 5, a wife to one hardworking man and a woman who is committed to expressing G.O.D in her life.
See, because I went through my mental battles I became stronger. I was enlightened and I shifted my standards and boundaries.
STANDARDS and BOUNDARIES are the beginning of DECENCY and ORDER.
I only engage with things of SUBSTANCE because I know the DIRECTION that I am going.
I acknowledge my DIVINITY and I refuse to settle for anything less than the Glory of G.O.D on and in my life.
The Battle was real.
It wasn’t a figment of my imagination.
It was a real battle.
It doesn’t matter to me if you call them demons, negative energy, resistance, blocks, shadows, low vibrations or whatever else comes to mind. The TRUTH is that I had to deal with it before I could move forward and YOU also have to deal with your mess before you can up-level.
I am now in a place of owning my power. I am on a mission to help other people own their power also. Especially women.
Let me tell you another secret…
G.O.D is SOOO GOOD!
Ok… maybe that’s not a secret.
Let me tell you why I say that though.
G.O.D. inspired me to write a poetry book back in 2009. It was the first time that I planned something and completed it.
That very same poetry book was the substance of my hope when I battled with depression and suicide. (I had previously attempted to hang myself and I am still here because of the LIGHT of HOPE that I had then, almost a dozen years ago now.) It is a blessing for me and I want to share it with you. Not only because I know 1st hand how well we can hide what we are going through but because I also really enjoy writing. I was often acknowledged for my writing ability and I am proud to be able to share that now.
Once upon a time, I hated people… that’s why I wanted to kill myself. Then I saw the world through G.O.D.s eyes and I saw the pain that the world carried and I still didn’t like what people did but I understood it and had a softness in my heart for them.
I encourage presence and engagement with G.O.D to heal and restore families and communities.
I am a Life Transformation Catalyst.
No one that meets me is ever the same.
I share all of this to say:
The darkness is real but we wouldn’t know it if light did not exist. The contrasts presented in your life are there for a reason and I PROMISE it will serve you.
I shared the dark side of my journey to show you that no matter what it is you are going through, you can make it out. My existence is a testimony! I passed the test and I have wisdom to show for it.
I invite you to share in the Glory by getting The G.I.F.T of Now: Graceful Inspirations For Totality
You can sign up below.
You can also share in the Glory by telling 5-10 people about the book directly.
Seed is given to the sower.
Sharing is an act of sowing.
I’m calling you to a STANDARD of ACTION. (I also hold this standard for myself)
“What you’ve gone through isn’t what you have to live in.” James Edwards, The Most Valuable Motivator of Transforming Faith Christian Center (@Jamesedwardsmvm on periscope)
Until next time
I love you!
Be Happy. Be Present. Be Free.